Time for some campaignin' after the jump

Video is after the jump.

Months had passed since we last talked with Ms. Henny-Penny, whose famous declaration -- "the sky is falling!" -- electrified the world. At the time, her barnyard colleagues quickly fell into line with her, save one, Chicken Little, who demurred. When last Ms. H-P and I talked, she scoffed at her former friend as a "denier."

So, the other day I called her to see how she was doing as the recording secretary of what was now the Holy Order of the Sky is Falling, the Hon. Al Gore, pontiff.

"I'm fine," she said, "but more importantly, Mr. Gore pontificated at a recent gathering in Washington and it was thrilling. He said we could switch all of the nation's electricity production to wind, solar and other carbon-free sources within 10 years." Does he have any experts to back up that assertion, I asked. "Oh yes," she said. "Just the other day Nancy Pelosi at a news conference said the very same thing."

Global warming doesn’t cause baldness in men. At least, I haven’t seen anybody claiming this. Yet.

No, I’m talking about the little-known theory of intelligence and hair length. For a long time, really since biblical times and the legend of Sampson, scientists thought that with hair came power. A full head of hair was associated with sophistication, creativity, and brilliance. Look at Einstein, scientists used to say, full of hair and clever ideas.

Leading scientists of our own time know about this theory, of course, and carefully tend to their tresses in an attempt to maintain their intellectual prowess. Think of Stephen Pinker or that guy who wrote Blink.

GLOBAL warming is upon us. We are raping the planet. Mother Nature sends us a warming - a penis made of ice…

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